BEHIND GOD

    That is a line from a good 'ol song by NeedtoBreathe called Garden.  That has been my prayer today.  I wish for all that I do to be for God and after God.  I have been struggling with letting go of my burdens and allowing God to take them from me.  It's been very difficult here because there have been so many things which discourage me.  The whole computer thing is really just a bummer.  I got my computer back yesterday and it worked...for about 3 minutes.  Then it froze and shut down again and won't turn on.  So that is just a major bummer there.  Ha, I have been secretly hoping that everyone will feel so bad for me that they will pool their money together and buy me a new computer.
     Haha, ya, well, God continues to speak to me through good friends and situations.  My friend Ashton has spoken a lot of good truth into my life these past days.  It's been very helpful.  I am someone who needs to be shown how to do something or else I don't get it.  That's how it is with letting go of my burdens and letting God take them.  I just don't know how to do that.  But today Ashton had a great devotion and some perfect scriptures for me.  One of the things that stuck out to me was in her devotion book.
    It's written as letters from God to the reader.  One portion of it said, "The only thing that is prohibiting me from doing a special and magnificent work in your life is you."  For me that makes total sense.  I want to do things on my own, a lot of times apart from God.
    And then on the bus to our service site, I was really thinking and praying about that.  And I just had this picture of the Father standing there waiting for me.  Then I handed Him my computer and He just hucked it behind him as if it were nothing.  Then I handed Him my wife and he..didn't huck her, He placed her behind Him.  I gave Him my theology paper that I have to write and is kind of looming over my head, and He tore it in half and threw it up in the air so that papers scattered everywhere.  I gave Him my iPod and broken camera, He chucked 'em behind Him like they were totally worthless.  And then I just saw Him with arms open wide longing for an embrace with me.  He just wants to hold me and for me to focus and strive after Him.
    All the things I am going through and struggling with are basically worthless in the grand scheme of things and are all behind God, at least, that is where their place should be, BEHIND GOD.
     He wants to hold me, He wants to hold all of us and simply love us.  Pray that I will seek God and fix my eyes upon Him, in faith, trusting that He will take care of me and watch over me.